She needs a couple more hours in a tanning booth, doesn't she? Please take a moment and note the eyeliner in the background.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Previous in Pretty Girls: Part I: How the Current Economic Climate Affects Pretty Girls
______________________________________________________________________________________________________

In the first installment of “Pretty Girls”, we learned what it takes to earn pretty girl consideration. We delved into her quest to be attractive, as well as the toll it takes on her pocket book, excuse me, Gucci purse. With economic devastation consuming the news, somehow nobody but me has bothered to cover the pretty girl’s plight. My pioneering effort concluded that despite the steep costs of pretty girl upkeep, financial and otherwise, there are still just as many pretty girls wandering the streets. Yes, this is an anecdotal observation, but it appears pretty girl populations are still thriving.

Real GDP has retreated 0.7% in the second quarter of 2009. The national unemployment rate ticked up to 9.8% in September, from 9.7% in August, the highest since 1983. The underemployment rate has climbed to 17%, the highest in 16 years of counting the metric. The dollar is down 10% to a basket of currencies since the March highs. Once again, during this tumultuous time, in an epic struggle to scrape by and preserve wealth, one question rings in our ears: how is the current economic climate affecting pretty girls? (1) (2)

Some economists, like Alan Greenspan and Ben Bernanke (former and current Federal Reserve chairman), are calling for an imminent economic recovery. (3) Well, a gross domestic product (GDP) recovery anyway; forget about those pesky jobs. Both men have been candid about the grim prospects of the job market. The Labor Department reported a net loss of 263,000 U.S. jobs in September, meaning that the lion’s share of revenue gains in this economy are from cutting costs, like superfluous employees. (2) We’re inhabiting a no fluff zone.

Readers of SwiftEconomics.com know that the aforementioned economists, and most any economist who opens his or her mouth, should be met with extreme caution. This is the same Alan Greenspan who contributed to the money and housing bubble inflation party for years; and the same Ben Bernanke who’s devaluation of the dollar, expansion of the Fed’s balance sheet into infinity and bailing out of any firm deemed by his board of directors to be a systemic risk, could quite possibly prolong the current recession. Only time will tell on Gentle Ben.

In the no fluff economy, pretty girls must be pretty and productive. There was a time when good looks made up for lackluster performance, and allowed a pretty girl to retain her job. During a recession, though, good looks may not carry you in the workplace. A pretty girl can scratch and claw with her perfectly manicured cuticles, but worker productivity is more than skin deep. If a pretty girl is able to retain employment in this economic climate, she must be a great worker. So the complicated flower just grew another layer of petals: a pretty girl may have a greater-than-average capacity for hard work, and the discipline only to use it when she has to.

The evidence was there all along for such a finding. Pretty girls wake up an hour earlier than average women every morning to get ready for the day. And average women are waking up 30 minutes earlier than average men. Pretty girls are disciplined creatures, staying true to their unbridled passion of looking, OMG, so cute.

In the Middle Ages, portly women were considered most attractive, because it was a sign of affluence. Now that was a practical system. Women ate, instead of not eating, to attract men (and probably to stay alive), while men chose attractive qualities based on socio-economic standing. How I long for those simpler times. Women of this era didn’t have manufactured media-driven images to contend with. Had they not been churning their own butter, they might have seen a Vanity Fair on the supermarket checkout stand. In addition to plumpness, pale skin was also attractive as it meant you spent most of your time out of the sun, instead of performing manual labor in the fields. And, if Yahoo! Answers is accurate, men preferred women that refrained from bathing regularly, for it provided an “earthy, womanly” scent. (4)

The present day equivalent to medieval heftiness, pale skin, and poor hygiene would undoubtedly be large breasts. Modern men are drawn in by the low-cut shirt and push-up bra, if not the boob job; breast implants are a costly procedure. It would be a nice parallel to portly women projecting affluence if the tab wasn’t footed by credit, or the woman’s husband. Nevertheless, if the economy is improving, we will probably see a spike in pretty girls seeking plastic surgery. Besides, the new season of Nip/Tuck is upon us.

Nip/Tuck nights = pretty girl paradise

What’s next for this industrious cross-section of society? They have clearly displayed excellence as workers and entrepreneurs (don’t tell me a pretty girl isn’t behind this enterprise: LittlePamperedPets.com). The natural progression is a move toward setting economic policy; that’s what all the cool kids do after conquering the private sector. Graduation from the University of Goldman Sachs fetches a 97% placement in government ranks. Yes, it is time for pretty girls to try their luck at the Federal Reserve.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Previous in Pretty Girls: Part I: How the Current Economic Climate Affects Pretty Girls
______________________________________________________________________________________________________

(1) Bureau of Economic Analysis Data, retrieved October 5, 2009, http://www.bea.gov/

(2) Bad news: Jobs market getting worse – CNNmoney.com, retrieved October 5, 2009, http://money.cnn.com/2009/10/02/news/economy/jobs_september/index.htm

(3) Unemployment will top 10% – Greenspan – CNNmoney.com, retrieved October 5, 2009, http://money.cnn.com/2009/10/04/news/economy/economy_recovery_greenspan_schumer/index.htm

(4) Yahoo! ANSWERS – au.answers.yahoo.com, retrieved October 12, 2009, http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071129114331AAJ2Vn0

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

For more Swift Economics, subscribe now to our RSS Feed
Follow Swift Economics on Twitter