Even More Signs of Cultural Decay
In our continuing series on the ever-present and exponentially accelerating cultural decay of the West, we now move from the Justin Bieber mania and plastic surgery to, you guessed it: Kids on leashes!
Yes they make such things so you don’t even need to retrofit your dog leash for said purpose. Amazon.com has a delightful assortment of well-named “child safety tethers” such as the Kid Keeper Safety Harness, the Mommy’s Helper Kid Keeper and the Sunshine Kids Sure Steps Safety Strap (a mouthful of movement-restricting goodness if there ever was one).
Example 1:
Ahhhhhhh, So cute...
Example 2:
Just going for a little stroll
And my favorite:
Freeeeedddddoooooommmmmm!!!!!!!
The website www.smallplanetkids.com specializes in such child safety harnesses, because “exploring is important for your child” (exploring the five foot radius around their parents, that is). Oh, but “I’m concerned that my child would not like to wear the harness, how should I approach it?” Worry not, that’s simple:
“Present it with a positive attitude to your child – as a cool new thing for them to wear. We also suggest to let them wear the harness without the lead at first. It is very comfortable and children really like our cheerful patterns.”
Or you could just tell him to sit down, roll over and you’ll give him a special, yummy treat. Thaaaaatttt’s a goooooodddddd boy! Thaaaaatttt’s a gooooooooooooodddddd boy!
Of course some take it too far (more so than just using it in the first place), this woman was actually jailed for this kid leash-assisted stunt:
I know those terrible two’s and ADHD inflicted yet Ritalin addicted kids can be a nightmare. But count your blessings; your young daughters haven’t discovered Justin Bieber yet! And your young sons haven’t discovered what comprises about half of the Internet!
Nevertheless, as a childless man myself, one could conceivably view me as hypocritical. But a stalwart social critic I must remain. So for the love of God people, don’t put your kid on a Goddamn leash!
For more of this humorous, but rather disturbing trend, see here. And keep your eyes open for kid poop bags, coming soon to a store near you…
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Why does this kid leash thing pop on people’s radar like once a quarter? I don’t get it. It’s not new at all. These products exist for a reason and until you have a child, you won’t understand.
Once a kid is physically able to break out into a sprint whenever he/she feels the impulse, they will. As a parent, the question is “Do I care what childless critics think? Or do I care about my child’s safety?”
Simply holding your child’s hand isn’t always a solution, unfortunately. Kids are unpredictable and impulsive and as a parent, you have the responsibility to protect them in any way you can, up to and including purchasing the apparatus exhibited above.
The first two pictures you posted paint the positive picture of how they should be used. The third picture, and obviously the video, are a case for how not to use them.
For the record, when I was a kid and my mom threatened that she’d buy me a kid leash, I begged for it. It was rainbow, I liked the colors, what can I say?
Yea, if you don’t put your kid on a leash then you’ll actually have to pay attention to them.
When I was trying to walk a pair of unsteady 18-month-old boys across busy parking lots by myself, the kid leashes were mighty handy and helped keep everyone safe. At the same time, the boys got to practice walking independently along with me. It was a win for everyone, even the neighbors who got to watch us practicing on the lawn the first week. Each boy would walk in a different direction and I kept winding up nearly flat on the ground with my arms completely stretched out, trying to convince them to “walk closer to Mommy, baby”. Fun times.
And ummmm, wouldn’t another name for the poop bag be ‘diaper’?
i am i strong bleiver in child leashes no child should be allowed to run lose it is just to dangerous i belive that any child under the age of 12 should ware a leash in a hasardous situation it has nothing to do about how well the child can listen or behave it all about protecting them from the elements of danger that they cant control if a child is attached to you in no way is that child going to wander or stray or get cut off from you in a crowed
So what would you suggest Mom’s of twins/multiples do? The alternative is to sit at home and stare at the walls! I have asked for suggestions from many people. I too hated the idea of the leash. But as a stay at home with a hubby that works til after it gets dark out, what choice do I have to get my kids out in the sun? I have a friend that is a Mom of twins, she is so against the leash her poor kids do not get to go outside until someone is available to go with them. So …..what do you suggest?